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About The Author. Kunal Nayyar. Product Details. I was going to get to kiss Winnie Cooper.

Yes, My Accent Is Real: And Some Other Things I Haven't Told You. Kunal Nayyar

On the morning before we were to meet at the table read, I spent no more than seven hours thinking about what to wear. I decided to dress down. So, in true LA fashion, I wore a pair of expensive torn jeans, white T-shirt, sneakers, and to really complete the look, I wore one of those ridiculous LA beanies that hipsters wear in the summer.

Such is life. I casually strolled into the table read, avoiding her, hanging around the breakfast buffet, and making small talk with the writers. I was saying things like, Hey, Dave, really hot today, huh? Today, I was totally That Guy. The writers were probably thinking, What the frack is wrong with Kunal? Did I want coffee? No, no coffee. I wanted to be cool. Just a cool guy in a cool beanie on a hot day. Finally I saw her. She was perfect.

She wore a white dress and had her hair up in a band. I introduced myself. Hi, I play Raj, my name is Kunal.

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Funny that I said that in reverse. I tried not to giggle like a schoolgirl. She smiled, we made some chitchat, and for the most part I avoided saying anything creepy. We sat next to each other at the table. You know that dance, the one you do in your heart, just for yourself, for no one else to see.

I spent most of the week hogging her time, chatting, soaking up every second of her glorious smile.

Yes, My Accent Is Real: and Some Other Things I Haven't Told You

Was I laying it on a little thick? But anything was better than getting nervous and blurting out, Danica, oh sweet Danica, the first time I ever kissed a girl I closed my eyes and pretended I was kissing you, and I fantasized about you for most of my boyhood and sometimes still do even now in my adult life.

I want them to be at ease. I want them to be comfortable. I was just happy to be a butterfly in her lovely presence. They served Lebanese for lunch—hummus, tabouli, tzatziki—yummy! My brain hatched all these scenarios of things going tragically wrong: And then the moment arrived. No more excuses.

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It was time for the big scene. As soon as the director says Action! While Sheldon is talking to his date, Danica and I have to kiss for the entire time in the background. Note to the writer of this episode: I owe you a Rolex. Allow me to point out that stage kissing, in itself, comes with an inviolable and highly sophisticated set of rules that must be honored percent of the time.

The number-one rule of stage kissing: No Tongue Without Permission. III There was no way I was going to push the boundaries or do anything disrespectful, so I erred on the side of caution and kept my lips sealed like a fish.

It was a long, loooooong kiss. Take two! We kissed again. Take three! And again. When it was all said and done, we did six takes. And, to be honest, I was kissed out.

This is what pros do. They make out passionately and pretend to fall in love with each other and then they go home to their happy wives and husbands. That said, I do happen to know that exactly nine months later, Danica had a baby. Did she race straight home from our kiss and make passionate, unrestrained love to her husband?

You know, this might sound funny, I finally told her the next day, but I have you to thank for my very first kiss.

I told her a short version of the story, playing up the angle of I learned to close my eyes from your scene with Kevin, and glossing over the specific facts of I visualized you and replayed the scene on an endless loop.

I think every guy born between and is still in love with her. But it got me thinking. It brought back that memory of us sitting side by side on the bed, of the lights flickering on and off, of that twelve-year-old boy who knew so little of the world.

So after the Winnie Kiss I wondered what had become of her. I searched for her on Facebook, I googled, I asked my cousin about her. It turns out that she married one of the seniors from my high school, a kid who wore Doc Martens and smoked cigarettes out the window of our school bus. I wonder if she ever thinks about our kiss. And as for Danica? She was recently on Dancing with the Stars, and to the surprise of no one, she still looks incredible.